Transcripts follow each image, both of which are from the wonderful book, Calcium Made Interesting: Sketches, Letters, Essays & Gondolas.
10 Rosslyn Court
Dear Mr Coombes,
Please stop writing these abusive letters about my overdraft. I consider it to be quite a nice one and if you keep insulting it with such wildly extravagant phrases such as 'couldn't support indefinitely', 'unsecured overdrafts', 'matter of some urgency', 'extremely high-borrowing' and 'so far to no avail', it will understandably, I feel, take offence and move to a different house where it will be more comfortable.
Yours with 'real concern'
22 December 1976
Thank you for your kind invitation, but I don't like women with big tits.
COPY TO HUGH HEFNER