Monday, 10 January 2011

I'm feeling like a very large turd on a very thin stick

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In September of 1991, unable to attend Charlie Sheen's 26th birthday bash due to illness, a worse-for-wear Marlon Brando — ever the wordsmith — grabbed a pen and scribbled the birthday boy this brief but amusing letter of apology.

Transcript follows.

(Source: Thom Brayshay; Image of Marlon Brando via.)




Image: Thom Brayshay

Transcript
MARLON BRANDO

Dear Charlie,

I'm feeling like a very large turd on a very thin stick. I'm holed up in bed and taking everything from sled dog urine to powderde East Indian vulva — maybe won't work tomorrow if I feel the same.

I really feel bad for not showing up at your birthday bash but I really feel shitty and best stay in bed. I don't have much of a selection. I'm sure it will be a kick in the ass and I hate to miss it —

Happiest of birthdays to you, Charlie

Love,

Marlon